Thursday, 12 Mei 2012 Today is the same day and activities which i usually done everyday, but today i was wake up so late 8.30 am in the morning, by that i have missed my breakfast. The way i feel it not with the same day which already passed. This day i felt not so much gud, in mind which i have a liltle problem with my boyfriend. As i know about the news last sunday that he told me that he's in jail coz of he got caught by the immigration because of his visa. He has a visa which not allow him to work but he did work in company, than one that time he get caught, so he was take it in immigration office and go to jail, when i hear that things i feel so much down. Its like the same that i ever thinking and ever dream before, if its already become like this, so who would be get fault of it ? nobody knows, but what i know is just only my thinking which telling me over and over agian like "WHAT DID I SAY, NOW ITS HAPPENED". We couldnt turn back the time isn't it ? so wht will we do now ? He said to me that he still try to call a lawyer for release him from jail, besides that acouple month back he was trying for make a visa permannet and still running until now, and now comes a problem like this, we would never now right ? so he just telling me that if the lawyer still try to make some kind like proposal or some kind like document for make him release from jail, but if its not finish that the laywer have fail, its mean he should go back to his country, "DEPORTATION" ! So what u will think that what will be do after it ? First the plan is making a visa for permanent visa, than come problem like this about immigration, so no back up plan ? This which i afraid of it, that no back up plan, so i curious and thinking a lot about wht will we do after it ? What will he do after he go back to Pakistan ? What kind of work that he will do in Pakistan ? Than how about our marry ? Will we marry after this all which he always say me that he wants to maryy this year !! The Hell BIG NO !! So what kind of plan that we will do after it ? NOTHING ! Now i get stuck on my mind and screaming too much that what will we do ? that what will i do ? but no answer of that all. I have no friends to share about this, WHY ? coz all of my friends say "NO" for me to be with him, but far of this i still with him. Nobody say YES with my relation, and i cant tell also with my family, but today i make my self brave to tell someone, he is a funny and nice guy at office, i call him "COOKIES" coz his face is looks like a monster cookies at cartoon movie. I share all my feelings to him, and u now wht he said ? He not say rejectable or acceptable with all of my feelings, he not said that i was wrong or i was right, but his point is showing me that all are happen by "GOD HANDS", so everything which happening in this situation is comes from Lord. If u feel that u strong enough its mean u can handle it all of this matter, but even than u should say and do forgivenees to Lord. Looking inside to your heart and knowing ur self first, its so much hard for knowing our self, just do something which is from ur little heart which placce is inside ur heart coz it will never tell a lie. So just make ur self come down and always say forgiveness to ur self and to people, not see something from other but see something wht is inside in you. Share always to ALLAH, insha ALLAH he will give you way which the way is always the best for you.
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